I am trying to run away

I still have the fever, and I'm experiencing the need to run away, to dream, to not be a part of this.

But it's different now, than it was back in time.

First of all I'm aware of the signs, and they are there, big time. I have even started to visit Second Life again, where you can be anything you want and travel wherever you want to go. You can even decide your time of day, so you never miss a sunset, if that's what you wish to experience.

I also dream a LOT, I even day dream of  having the perfect life, that everybody wishes for.
And when I think about it, I sometimes get sad, that everything ended up like this, and I'll never have a chance to get those years back.

I really need to focus. I don't want to disappear into Second Life or another world of dreams. But apparently it also gives me something. So I have had to set my own limits.

I am not allowed to sleep, just to be able to dream - that's no solution.
I am not allowed to dream myself into Second Life, it's easy to disappear for hours... I allow myself a max of 2 hours there a day, but I fortunately discovered, that I don't spend 2 hours there on daily basis. So I'm not totally lost in dreams and attempts to escape.

But from previous experience I know, that I have the risk of doing so - creating my own little world of fantasy - so I might as well get my hands on it right away and prevent that from happening.
A break is okay, but too much takes the focus from the real problems at hand. And no matter what we do to hide from them, we have to deal with them at some point, in order to get better.