Fighting to get the desire to live

Yeah, I'm in a bad position right now, and have been sinde medio december. So bad in fact, that I each day have to remind myself, that I can't check out, cause I can't do that to my children.

But even the thought of that, I feel forced to live this damn life. I'm cornered from all sides. I can't get out.


There's nothing new, and that's what frightening me the most. I can't go forward, I'm stuck, trapped.

There must be sort of a hope out there, something more to live for but just to stay alive, because you don't want to make anyone sad. So actually I'm currently trying to find something, that makes me want to stay here, a reason to go on.

And that's hard. Fighting to get the desire to want to stay alive.