Trapped with people who dislike me or?

I din't know what to do. I had no idea of how to change this situation.

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Drowning

Every time I see someone writing about bad stuff happening to them, I see a lot of
- "I'll pray for you"
- "God will help you out"

You know what? We are NOT alone on this planet, God is not supposed to handle each and every thing for us.

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Who can you really count on?

I often get emails from you guys out there, who feels totally alone and abandoned.

How do you move on, when you feel neglected, overlooked or even ignored?

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A stranger in the family

In my life, up until my husband died, I've done everything correct and what was expected from me in my entire life. 

I was the go-to girl, the one always in control. Popular and more than welcome at family get togethers.

Now I'm the black sheep. 

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Physical symptoms of psychological sickness

I have had difficulties with breathing the last months. It has changed for the worse.

Before I felt like I didn't get enough oxygen, now I can only take small breaths, otherwise I feel a stinging pain. And since I don't have a knife planted into my chest, it must be caused by something else

.

I think it's the feeling of being trapped. 

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I am drowning in financial uncertainty

You can't buy happiness. 

Absolutely true.

And I remember, that I was not more happy like that, when I had my work - but there was certainly some problems, that didn't drive me crazy back then, as they do now.

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Now we know it is cancer

I was tired, and the trains schedule didn't really fit my appointments.
Never the less I arrived at the Hospital early, which I was prepared for.

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Chat rooms

I have been asked about chatrooms, and I've also been recommended to make one for this site.

It's always great to get ideas from you all. I know that the wish to stay anonymous is important to many, so there's a lot if the current 18000+ readers I don't hear from.

It would also be too overwhelming.

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Overwhelming feelings

Thank you very much for your kind and heartwarming emails. I'm currently not writing much, I know, but don't worry, I'm hanging in there and am currently fighting off my own demons.

I'm frustrated about a lot of stuff, and as usual, If there's too much, it's like clothes in a dryer, rolling around in a big mess.
And I can't seem to find the button to turn it off.

But it's the "normal" stuff like
Will I ever get better?
What about employment?
Can I control my anger, which is new to me?

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Why I chose to be Anonymous

Give a man a mask, and he'll tell you the truth - the quote goes something like that. 

And now I found it... :-)

It's not that I, under normal circumstances, feel that I'm a really bad person (but when I'm depressed), I'm not ashamed of being sick or ashamed to have the feelings I have.

But if I knew my children would find this by searching my name, or people who will take advantage of that knowledge could find it, I would always weigh my words and be careful not to make it sound too bad and paint a more pretty picture.

But it would all be a lie. And then there would be no reason to write for me or anybody else...

I write for myself, my writing turned out to help others, but that was not the main goal. 

The main goal was to make a sort of diary with a totally truthful description of what I'm going thru, no matter how scary, frightening, dark, ugly and lethal it sometimes is.

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You are fucking insane - she said

There's stuff I simply can't forgive.
On top of that list goes persons, who is using my sickness in an argument, just because they can't beat me in the  discussion.
It's definitely the lowest blow of all.
From family it's even worse. 

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