Feeling alone and rejected

By now I've tried SO many times to feel forgotten, unappreciated and unwanted.

I would think, that I have got used to that by now, but I never really totally do.

I have stopped, however, to expect anything, before I see it.

For instance;
I was supposed to get help on the the design of the blog, but my family member who could fix it in 30 minutes, never has time. He lives 15 minutes away, and for 9 months he has not been able to help.

And no, that's not true.

Cause he has time to help everybody else. Time to visit everybody else who lives hours away. Even spend a whole weekend with other family to help there.

He has the time to come to dinner with friends and other family at least once a week.

But no matter what I invite him to, dinners, tea, cake, ice cream...
If I ask to meet downtown just to see him, suggets to watch a movie...  Or God forbid ask him to help with anything - there's always an excuse.

At one point I has to ask my bf if it was me, who was annoying to be with, my sickness is a challenge... He just answered, that if that was the case, that family member was the only person who didn't adore me.

I don't know how to snap out of the disappointment, especially cause he is so close to me.
I'm very lucky this didn't happen before I met my bf. I don't know, if I could have handled this rejection without him by my side.

I guess I'll have to let it go and simply stop trying, wait and see if something changes. If not, it's probably for the best anyway, and then we'll simply have to plan without him, when we go on family trips. We can't please everybodys wishes, when we have to set dates for family trips. But now we most certainly wont take his wishes into consideration, he'll need an excuse not to come anyway!