WHAT?
I'm sure I looked at the shrink in a very funny way, with open mouth, drewling from a shock frozen face.
I never heard something as stupid. I've spend half my life running from anxiety. Running from something horrible that was inside myself and therefore and impossible to escape. That was my biggest question, how to run away from something that's inside - how do you run away from yourself, that's an impossible task.
After I left my job because of illness, I had enough.
I'm sure I looked at the shrink in a very funny way, with open mouth, drewling from a shock frozen face.
I never heard something as stupid. I've spend half my life running from anxiety. Running from something horrible that was inside myself and therefore and impossible to escape. That was my biggest question, how to run away from something that's inside - how do you run away from yourself, that's an impossible task.
After I left my job because of illness, I had enough.
I was determined to focus all my resources on getting better.
I've been through every possibility with my doctor several times, and at some point I also demanded to get a hysterectomy.
I've been through every possibility with my doctor several times, and at some point I also demanded to get a hysterectomy.
To make a long story short, I was not feeling better, but worse. The medicine had it's chance to work, but seemed to make no positive difference.
After having tried what seemed to be every pill in the book, I refused. Totally.
I called my doc and told them, enough is enough. No matter what I didn't get my spirit up, I still had severe anxiety attacks and troubles breathing.
After having tried what seemed to be every pill in the book, I refused. Totally.
I called my doc and told them, enough is enough. No matter what I didn't get my spirit up, I still had severe anxiety attacks and troubles breathing.
So I stopped every prescription medication I had.
At the same time I got committed to surgery - no mental hospital this time.
After surgery I had oxygen mask for 4 days, and I didn't even like the thought of smoking, so I stopped that too.
Thinking about my sensitive stomach, I also cut off coffee, black tea, alcohol, coke, or any other kind of drinks, that would have a bad effect on my stomach.
At the same time I got committed to surgery - no mental hospital this time.
After surgery I had oxygen mask for 4 days, and I didn't even like the thought of smoking, so I stopped that too.
Thinking about my sensitive stomach, I also cut off coffee, black tea, alcohol, coke, or any other kind of drinks, that would have a bad effect on my stomach.
Clean from medication, smoke, coffee and coke, I started my rehabilitation program.
When I got strong enough, I was training alone at home. And that's when it came to me during training...
Perhaps I should stop the impossible task of escaping from the anxiety inside, and try to work with it.
Perhaps I should stop the impossible task of escaping from the anxiety inside, and try to work with it.
I won't exactly call us friends, but I have somehow managed to be able to find and use tools to get thru my anxiety attacks, not to escape them with medication.
There's different tools for me, which all requires a more in depth description, but for a short list if tools for later explanation is;
I focus on the most basic needs and build up like described in Maslows Pyramid if Needs:
Food
Selecting a safe spot
Finding distractions
Breathing techniques for panic attacks
Safety, pet, call, love, acceptance
I focus on the most basic needs and build up like described in Maslows Pyramid if Needs:
Food
Selecting a safe spot
Finding distractions
Breathing techniques for panic attacks
Safety, pet, call, love, acceptance
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