When hit by adrenalin, your body freeze for a split second. Sounds gets more intense, your vision sharpens and your whole body is in "red alert."
You can't run away from this no matter what, cause the fear us not from an outside attack, it's all inside you.
You can however TRY to escape in so many other different ways, I've personally tried several:
Gaming, create your own world, where you are in control
Medication, makes you chemically feel better until the effect wears off, but you can only get it in a limited time.
Drugs (medicine bought at the black market - or other drugs I don't really know), also used by many, a form of escape like the medication.
Gaming, create your own world, where you are in control
Medication, makes you chemically feel better until the effect wears off, but you can only get it in a limited time.
Drugs (medicine bought at the black market - or other drugs I don't really know), also used by many, a form of escape like the medication.
Sleep, create your own perfect world in your dreams (I used that, a LOT)
The problem of all the above "solutions" is... That it's NOT a solution.
No matter how perfect a dream I have, I always wake up to the same shitty world, where I'm scared of everything.
No matter how perfect a dream I have, I always wake up to the same shitty world, where I'm scared of everything.
We can put all the shit on pause for a couple of hours with one of the above options, but that's all it is. A pause.
But that pause can be well earned.
After fighting my own mind for a week, maybe 2, depending on the events during that time, I was totally exhausted. So tired I could not even sleep. My fiance got some medications from the doctor, cause I simply would go out of my mind.
I took one dose. Slept a lot, ate a lot, and then I went back to fighting. So now I keep my medication like "panic medication." I only take it as absolutely last resort. And as it shows, the more I learn about my own reactions to different situations, the less I get affected by it.
But I'm getting forward. I got medication for a week 4 months ago, and I just took the last dose today.
But that pause can be well earned.
After fighting my own mind for a week, maybe 2, depending on the events during that time, I was totally exhausted. So tired I could not even sleep. My fiance got some medications from the doctor, cause I simply would go out of my mind.
I took one dose. Slept a lot, ate a lot, and then I went back to fighting. So now I keep my medication like "panic medication." I only take it as absolutely last resort. And as it shows, the more I learn about my own reactions to different situations, the less I get affected by it.
But I'm getting forward. I got medication for a week 4 months ago, and I just took the last dose today.
The more I learn to live with the disease, the less effected I get, and the less medication I take. I don't play games or sleep my time away in a dream world - I live my life by playing the hand I got dealt.
I hope you are up for fighting for YOU, or that you soon will become ready. There really IS something good out there for all of us.
I'll spare my words on telling you the bad stuff about alcohol and drugs, you already know.
However be aware, that the effect of your medication might be less to none, when you drink or do drugs simultaneously. Also the chemical reaction in the body is of course different, so you might end up making things much worse for yourself.
However be aware, that the effect of your medication might be less to none, when you drink or do drugs simultaneously. Also the chemical reaction in the body is of course different, so you might end up making things much worse for yourself.
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