Fear

Fear is a normal feeling, it's a part of the survival instinct - self preservation. It's under normal conditions not a problem. Fear of snakes, spiders, heights etc. we frequently hear about, and it doesn't effect the lives of people in any real way.

But fear as an illness can be disabling, and there's not really a clear line you can draw between the rational and the irrational fear. It depends of the individual.
I often felt ridiculous, when I tried to explain my fear, and even though people try hard, they never really understand.
I have been afraid of the mail man, when the phone rang, when someone knocked on the door... If I finally went outside my house, I couldn't visit some of our friends because of the stairs. This is an example of fear (of heights) becoming irrational.

I think the way to "classify" the difference is when the fear has such an effect on you, that you are disabled in doing daily tasks. When your fear prevents you from having a normal family life.

The natural effect of fear is that the body immediately sends out a shot of adrenalin. You freeze shortky, then run. The last resort is fight.

I try to become friends with my anxiety, well not exactly, rather I try to learn to live with it
When I reach the point where fear is just about to take over, I try to stop exactly where I am, and stay in my feelings for that moment.
I cover my ears and face and sit down on my knees, feel the rushing effect of the adrenalin, what it does to MY body. The first time it was really overwhelming.  So many ferlings in a world of chaos, it took all my willpower to stay in it, and not run away, even though my whole body was screaming to get out of there.
When I'm more calm, I still sit there, but with the intend to figure out what exactly triggered a panic attack.

Like...
Wednesday I go to the hospital.
What if I can't sleep and am too tired to drive(?)
I take the train.
But at the train station there's huge stairs and a long bridge with glass to all sides - it's scary. How do you handle that(?)
Use my fear to get over the bridge. Pretend someone is after you an run like hell.
You did that before, ended up crying in a corner until people got your fiance on the phone, and you ended up in your safe spot for 3 days. Do you want that(?)

We all have our fears, and don't ever let anyone put you down because of that. There's no right or wrong fears. Your fear is as "real" as fear of flying for instance. Just because it's more common to be afraid of heights or spiders, it's no more or less normal.

I have chosen to fight my fear. I can't run away from it anyway - cause how do you run away from yourself???