Valentines Day Without a Love

So it was valentines day yesterday. Everywhere you go you see the advertisements, send flowers, cards, chocolates to your love...  Prepare a wonderful dinner for your love, invite your love out for at wonderful dinner...
Thank you, and when you don't have a loved one to share this with, it really feels like the advertisements is just trying to blast it in your face.

All day I had to fight my self not to send a mail to my ex boyfriend. I kept telling myself, that what I miss, it didn't even exist. To me the love between us was wonderful and I saw us having a beautiful future together. I was left in the most horrible way, and he ignored me totally, until he could use something from me.
Whether he really is a psychopath, a narcissist, or simply has an empathy disorder - it doesn't really matter. I need to focus on the tools from my Psychologist,"remember what he did to you."
And do I really want a boyfriend like that? Absolutely not.
But still, I miss the dream of the future, that we had. I had something to look forward to. However that was not true to him, and I need to remember that.

So now I guess, that what I miss, is that special one. The one who gives me true love. The one who respects me for what I am, with all the errors and mistakes that comes with being human. The one I can tell anything, without being scared of his reaction. The one who is my best friend, that I can share everything with - good days, as well as bad days.
Even though I am not ready to find a new love - I'm still licking my wounds - but I really hope he is out there somewhere...