Psychologist Visit 4 - Remember What He Did to You

My thoughts is still primary focused on how a person I loved so much, could treat me like this - and since he could do that, I must be a horrible person.

My Psychologist started to break down the whole episode into little pieces, and talked with me about those events:
My boyfriend knew, that I had already been through a lot this year, and even so, he apparently couldn't accept, that those events of course had a huge effect on me and the children.


The Sunday, my boyfriend left, the last conversation we had together, was about me wishing, that he would get back to language classes, perhaps part time - and the study at the engineering school, taking some classes with people, that had the same interests as him. After that he chose to leave. I was trying to do something good for him, but maybe he saw it as a demand. We will never know, my work for now is to focus on the fact, that I was trying to do something positive - and my boyfriend chose to leave.

So no matter that my boyfriend knew, that I was in a very fragile state, he chose to leave his pregnant woman and the children, without any kind of warning or decent talk about it at all.
My boyfriend knew, that we could not handle the dog, but still let it up to us to deal with it.
He also knew, that I was still suffering from the miscarriage, and even so he send me mails and demanded, that I got an abortion.
And he let me deal with the abortion alone.
After that he comes back with the car, packs some stuff and takes all the computer equipment with him, including all the pictures and movies of the children, their dead father... All the pictures we have - and he doesn't even send us the files.
Now he got what he wanted - and after that he ignores me totally!

The tool, I should use, is to think about those facts - when I miss my boyfriend.
And when I think, that I am a horrible person, I should remember what he did to me...