Bad Sad Day

I would think that I should be used to get my ass kicked by my sickness, but sometimes...

I was at job recruitment today for a meeting, and to make a long story short, I probably have to face, that I'll never be able to hold a full time job.
I had senced that, I also have stated to make other plans as well - but that was more long time scaled plans. I need at least 10 years or more before I can even get my mind around the thought.

But I was sitting there with my fiance, listening to what the Lady was telling me. To hear the words come out of her mouth, scared me big time. Even though I had the thought myself, it was just an idea for me. Not a direct plan.

However she could also offer sleeping classes. Sounds stupid? A bit maybe...

I don't think they can offer me any kind of advice, I haven't heard before.
But...
I have serious problems with insomnia, so why not try?
I'm not here to give up, count me in for a fight - let's fight insomnia.

I don't know when the classes are going to start, but I'll for sure share my experience with you.

Insomnia is a huge problem for me. Today I haven't slept for real for 4 days. When it's so bad, I can't drive, so I have to use public transportation. That's fine, however there's a huge staircase at the train station, that I can't handle alone, so... My fiance has promised to drive me when classes start.

And as I write this, I notice more clear, how much effect this disease has on my life. Stairs, cars, public transportation, job - I really feel handicapped. I need to train some of that stuff....
Well, let's start with insomnia, that goes a long way since it effect my life the most. When I'm tired I get more anxious, scared even, I give up too easily, I tend to seek into the darkness and get depressed, I get more panic attacks, and that's just emotional.
So yes, I think it'll be a good idea with those classes. The least I can do is to give it a try.