Medication regulation and eating

After my first session with the Psychologist, the agreement was to get my medication checked with my personal doc.
I didn't really care, only if they would serve me a doc Kevakian treatment.
if I could just get out the "easy way", that would be great.
But I fight for the sake of my children.

I went to my personal doctor, accompanied by my friend and neighbor: Rie.
First priority was to get my medication regulated:

I now get the following medication:
1. Sertralin Hexal.
That is the drug, that makes the signal between the braincells working.
I started on 50 mg. I'm currently on 75 mg, but working my way to 100 (I cant go to 100 mg in one day - I started on 50 mg and work up)
This drug is what people in general refer to as "happiness pills" but they don't work from one day to another.
The medication helps with the building of the signals in the brain, so that the messages between the brain cells is being send to the right places.
I have used this medication before, and I know it works. I have many years ago been on 400 mg a day - that is not good for me.
So we start with the base dose and work up - but I know the limit for me is 300 mg

2. Tolmin
(Mianserinhydrochlorid)
This is also an anti depressant drug, that helps the nr. 1 working.
The reason I started on it now - yesterday - is that for me, it has 2 side effects:
When I take it, I fall asleep 15-20 minutes after.
The second side effect is, that it makes me hungry!
I got it today, and I cant take it right now because of the first side effect, but my hope is, that when I start taking it, I will start eating again.

3. Apozepam
(Diazepam)
Well, that's the good stuff, that works in 15 minutes.
Its the stuff that keeps me from drinking/medicating myself.
On a normal day, where everything is fine, I don't need anything - but a hug from you. See your smile, you telling me how wonderful I am, having sex with you - that's my normal dose.
Well, I don't have that anymore.
I get apozepam regularly now, even though the doctor wont normally describe it.
Its a heavy drug.
I'm from 2 mg a day to 15 now. It is effective, but it is also addictive -that's why the docs don't give it normally.

4. Besides that, I take some nature medicine
It is quite expensive however.
On daily basis, where I need to be able to drive, I cant take the apozepam. Then I take "Valerina forte"
When I needed to sleep, I take "drogens strong baldrian with lemon balm"

With the apozepam and the tolmin, I think Ill quit the nature medicine.

The eating / vomiting:
Thats not easy. Its affected by ny wish not to live.
I got a prescription for some "drinks", that should be good for me.
Got it the same day - tastes like crap.