Second visit from the Psychiatrist Team

Today we talked about the most important for me right now. At the end of the first meeting, I got a patient guide in psychoeducation, listing all the things that's normally very difficult for a person, who has just had a total mental breakdown.
There's three things in focus for me right now on that list, and that's:

• food
• fresh air
• sleep/relaxation

All the other things is of course also important, but it's those 3 I have to focus on. Well, some of the points of the list is naturally connected in one way or another - like reducing stress and pressure vs. rest/sleep/relaxation...
Medication is also on the list, which I of course also have to remember to take regularly.

They have discussed my medication at the Psychiatrist Team Center, and they didn't want to change it right now. They want to see the full effect of me going up to 200 mg Sertraline, since it can take several weeks to work.

During the meetings, I get very tired. I'm so fortunate to have my friend and neighbor by my side, so I have someone to discuss the meetings with, and also to remember the different things for me. My memory is really to the "Alzheimer" side - if I don't write things down, I simply forget them.

So until next time, I have to accept, that my brain is working hard on getting better, and therefore my resources for other stuff is down. I have to learn to accept, that I need a lot of sleep and rest, and that my neighbor and my big boy is able to help me in the house.

I should try to look at it, as for one day, I have 10 portions of energy. The Psychiatrist Team is (as my Psychologist) impressed, that I am still able to do my full time job. But as I also try to explain to them, it's one thing I am good at. A thing that interests me, and where I feel needed and have success with what I am doing.
But back to my ten portions of energy:
Going to work full time I should see as taking 7 portions of my energy. Taking care of the kids minimum 2 portions of energy, and making dinner 1 portion of my energy.
If I force myself to do more, I take that energy from my body, that it needs to get better. That's why I don't see the full effect of the treatment - I simply demand too much from myself on daily basis.And that way my body and brain has no left over resources to fight my mental condition.

It's hard to accept that I'm sick. It's hard not to force myself to do stuff. But I have to give it my best shot at getting better, so I do, as the doctor "prescribes." Try to relax and let my body and mind get the time it needs to heal...