I drove around the city, where they are rebuilding parking spots and roads all over - my GPS was at no help at all of course, since it does not know the twists and turns during building of new roads.
I managed to call my Psychologist and leave a message on his answering machine, that I was trying to get to him, but had a problem with parking.
So even though I was 20 minutes in good advance, I managed to be 15 minutes late for the appointment.
Well, lets get to facts. I'm in a horrible state.
My Psychologist tries to help me over that, but it is not enough. I am in deep depression now, and my Psychologist is not able to describe medicine. He only works with the "mind" - "thoughts."
He had told me previously, that after the the dissociation, the depression will come. And yes, he is right about that, cause I feel it all the time now. I am down, beaten, I don't have any resources.
My Psychologist is worried about my condition, and its time to take it to the next "level". He is afraid that I will give up - is there time for laughing - I am finished.
The plan for the "future" is, that I get my personal doctor to get me into heavy treatment. And all outside forces that I have, is working on that.
My mom is in contact with the social services to get knowledge on what kind of help they can provide.
My neighbor comes to me each day, several times a day, to check on me. She will also go with me to each and every meeting, if necessary. She is also the one I have asked to please make sure, that I take the medication, cause when I am down big time, that is necessary.
What I need to do is to face the problems, but anxiety sticks its ugly head up there.
I have never been good at getting help from others. I'm used to be the one to help... Now I am the one who is down, big time. Its not easy to accept, but I think, I'm getting there.
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