I am in robot mode

I think it's a sort of dissociation, the bad kind. It's not like I suddenly have multiple identities, but I'm cleaning house like my life depended on it.

It's not something I choose to do, like when In pain or similar.

I'm not scared by it. I think it's normal to distract oneself from thinking bad thoughts by doing practical things. With fall cleaning that's not such a bad thing.

But I know it's a distraction from thought about my mother's illness.

For now I plan on doing absolutely nothing about it. It's normal to have some kind of reaction, and I guess this is mine.

I don't feel less normal, I just refuse to sit down and think about it. If a change in reaction occurs, I'll ofcourse contact my doc.

No talking about it - yet - also makes me focus on the practical stuff with this blog. As you see, the design is changing. It's obviously not finished, and I'm not happy about it. But this is the task for the blog for the moment.

Denial - I guess I'm way in deep!