Research: Psycopath, Narcissist, Empathy Disorder

At the second session, my Psychologist told me, that I look inside for a solution to whatever happened.
I give myself the fault of everything that has happened to me, and that's first of not healthy - secondly he told me - and under stressed that - It is not my fault that another person is treating me badly.

So the task (or tool) for that session was to try to start looking outside for answers - not inside.
He wanted me to research the following terms, and see if I would end up recognizing something from my ex boyfriend:
Psychopath
Narcissist
Empathy Disorder

I would like to underline, that the task was not about putting a label on my ex-boyfriend. It was about me understanding, that my boyfriend might possess some of the disorders, and therefore, as a result hereof, has treated me like he did.

Result of my research:
- was extremely scary, but it also lead to a big understanding for me.
I won't make a huge list of all the signs of all the above disorders, there's already a lot of pages on the web which describes that in much more detail.


Psychopath - lack of empathy
It was scaring to see, how all the descriptions of a psychopath fits on my boyfriend. (Not that I in any way is a professional, that has any kind of deep knowledge and is able to make a diagnose of any kind. Please see the above.)

In the beginning he was the most wonderful man I have ever met. He was an amazingly warm and sensitive human beeing, he was my dream of a man. The very special is, that he will make you feel like you are the one and only love for him.
He appeals to you in such a beautiful way, that its extremely difficult even to keep your feet on the ground - he will be able to make you float on a little pink cloud of happiness. He is the man, that you have been dreaming about for years. A man who really understands you and your problems.
During the relationship he changes. He has got what he wanted, you. He want's you for a reason, something you can provide him. The warm and sensitive man, that you thought he was, changes. He will systematically use your weaknesses to get exactly what he wants.
Since he has lack of empathy, his social relations is superficial. Therefore the psychopath will compensate for that by getting house, family, etc. However he does not understand to emotional fulfill this role as a family father.
The break up was horrible. My ex boyfriend keeps referring to "I threw him out." That's the most insane part of it. I had a talk with him about getting back to school, taking language classes and engineering classes. I wished for him to get a social life besides me, the children and the dog. Something that might be able to get him a job, instead of keep sitting behind the computer all day playing games.
And that's the whole trouble I guess. I started to "demand" something from him.
Then I really started to feel his hate: A psychopath has no respect for others, that he cannot use. He has no consciousness, and therefore deep down he does not care at all, that other people feels bad.
If a person is at no use for him, he will manipulate them into serve him again. If he is not successful in this, he will seek other sources.
The person left behind, he will hate, pursue OR totally ignore, leaving the other person destroyed and in totally despair.


I'm absolutely not a professional in mental health - all I can say is, that the above fits the description of my boyfriend. Maybe now I can start to understand why he treated me like that... And I think it will be a huge deal in my healing process.

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