Blood pressure skyrocketing

Photo by: emagineart Saturday evening didn't went as I expected. I didn't feel good, and as time went by, I felt worse and worse. So no piano for me, and all the rest of my plans for that evening went down the sewer. I felt like my inner engine was driving too fast, and my brain was frying. My body felt, like it wanted to run the marathon, but my brain was overworked and wanted to sleep. The staff kept taking my blood pressure, which was skyrocketing,...

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Christmas Is Here With All Its (?) Joy (?)

I'm staying with friends to avoid to be alone - but after a couple of months here I found myself in a bad place - again. With all its bad stuff like a pounding heart, trouble to breathe, scared of everything, depressed like I don't know what. The feeling of being alone is worst on the holidays. I look at the couple's smiling at each other, holding hands and buying Christmas presents for the children together. I can't get thru that my stomach turns into a knot and I feel like womitting from the hurt inside. I snuggle up in my blankets and pillows,...

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No sleep makes a breakdown even worse

I haven't been able to sleep since the night until Sunday. I can't remember ever once doing that. Skipping 2 nights of sleep! Im definately so tired, that I hope I can ...

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