Second Visit to the Psychologist - Understanding

My emotions is totally closed, but my Psychologist feels, that I am fortunately starting to open up just a little bit, and that is what he needs - so that he can get "inside" and work with the feelings.
I am getting some "tools", as he call it, to use for different situations, which I'll describe later.

He told me, I have been through a lot, so of course there was a lot of shit running around in my head. He wondered though, what was the main thought(s), that was bothering me right now.
My main issue was and is surrounding the fact, that I was left, and left in that way.
And the fact, that another person, that I loved so much, could treat me so badly - that must mean, that I am a really bad person.

My Psychologist said, that I had a way of always looking inside for the answers- instead I should try to focus on looking outside for answers.

The fact, that my love me in that horrible way, was not my fault. That's was my boyfriends problem, and something he should live with for the rest of his life.

My Psy said, that the next time I was giving myself the fault of this breakup, and being treated this way, he suggested, that I should do some research on the following:
Psycopath
Narcissist
Empathy Disorder 
- and see, if I could recognize some of the descriptions given, that was fitting on my boyfriend.

(the result I came up with during my research, was quite interesting and also very scary. I'll write more about that another day, in another thread)



The "tools" is for different situations - but to make it short, the tools is:
When I feel anxiety/depression starting to grab me, where I just want to crumble together and make myself as small as possible, and hide from the world - then I must do something active/hardcore, if I in ant possible way can do that... Its a little difficult to describe. But I should do something like:

1. scream out as loud as I possible can (it gets emotions out of the body, that's also why you see people in crisis screaming)
2. out react, especially with the upper part of the body (because its in the torso, my feelings are, the stomach pain, feeling lack of breathing) punch something!
   
3. listen to loud music, active music - dance to it if possible - sing (scream) to it, to get the feelings out - if possible

It is very rare, that people in general is able to tell exactly, what triggered the "anxiety attack" - but if I feel that it is possible at all, I should note down, what triggered it.

To follow the tools, I do the following:

1. I cant scream out loud, that will scare the children - they have seen enough (I do it on Thursdays, when my girl is at her dance classes) It's very rare, but I sing out loud to music sometimes - and it really helps. It's just very rare I can make up the desire to sing at all.
   
2. To out react, I have found, that the best is to put my desk in the high position and make "push up" from that. My poor physical condition doesn't allow me to do real push ups. Geez, I was able to do real push ups with one arm - not right now!
3. Powerful/happy music, for that I especially use the sound track from Transformers 1, also:
   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eouUdcgXBE&feature=related
   fast forward to 1.14 minutes - that's when the powerful music starts, and
   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSpakuC5eq