I was discharged from the hospital Friday, and I really wish to travel. However my energy level is extremely low, I'm even scared to drive for more than 1 hour.
Today I got a letter from the local hospital.
Apparently I need to go to the University Hospital for more tests. It's more than 1,5 hour away, so in some sort of way, I will ironically get my wish to travel fulfilled.
I really start to be feed up with hospitals, the smell, the examinations, tests, blood samples. I start to feel like a pincushion.
I don't know, what to tell my colleagues. I will of course tell them the truth, but I don't know how and when to tell them. They are all waiting for me to get back there. Each day they ask my co-leader, if he has heard from me, and when I'll be back.
The Boss of the company has hired an consultant. He is (fortunately) not as good as I am (yes, I still have my pride), and my colleagues does not respect him, as they respect me. Even the boss is asking for my acceptance of the work he does, so... It gives me some relief, that they don't need me for the entire work, I just have to approve his work with some corrections.
I cant think of this too much. I try to put it in a little "box", which I hide in the back of my head. But I'll let it out for just a short while, with the hope that sharing it with someone will do the trick, thinking "troubles shared is troubles halved."
What if I had done, as I should have... Made the full body examination, when I had the miscarriage... Before I got pregnant... At least took it more seriously, when they couldn't understand my bloodpressure was too high, when I got pregnant.
Sometimes I also get mad at the doctors, who saw me then. Why didn't they insist, that I get this checked out before(?)
Yeah, there's so much we wish we could do differently, however tomorrow it might be too late.
If you read this to an end, may I please have 2 wishes:
My first wish for all of you is, that you will call your doctor and schedule an appointment for a check up - and do that each year from now on. You never know...
Secondly I wish, that you will consider donation of your organs. And not just consider it - also take the time to discuss it with your family, and after that also filling in the forms to make your wishes complete. When you do so, please remember, that all of us would say "thank you" - if we need an organ.
With that in mind, I personally find it less difficult to say, that I also will be a donor. If you can say thank you in the case you need it - you also have to be ready to give.
Thank you.
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