The first week in my totally mental breakdown, it is not totally clear to me, what happened, and when it happened. Time was a strange thing, sometimes things seemed to go fast, sometimes slow. I remember some few details, but not what happened first and second.
When I got the shock of being left from my love... And that on top on every thing else that had happened in 2010....
I remember calling my mom and dad, to tell them, that I wanted them to take the children and take care of them. They came and picked up the children, and saw, that I was in a horrible psychologically state.
My friend and neighbor was also there. I had called her to come over, until my parents got to me - to be sure, that the children was taken care of.
I was shaking all over my body, and throwing up. I remember the feeling, that I just wanted to get the kids out of the house - everybody out of the house - so I could do what I wanted to do...
My mom gave me some pills, that relaxes the body, and then I think I fell asleep.
During the first days, I remember my neighbor coming to me several times, but nothing specific about it.
At some point, my mom called me and told me, that she and my dad was on their way to me, and she wanted me to be committed to the psychiatric hospital. My neighbor friend was also there.
I don't know, if it was my friend, who had called my parents, because she noticed, that I was bleeding from cutting myself... I don't know, how everything is connected.
When my parents arrived, they were talking a lot on the phone with the doctors center. I remember vaguely the noise of people on phone, and that it was annoying me, and the feeling of being scared out of my sences.
It annoyed me to have people around me, I just wanted to be left alone.
I was puking all the time, but nothing came out - but the feeling of throwing up made me feel better somehow.
The constant vomiting however, was one of the things, that made my friend ad parents nervous. And my "just leave me alone please, I beg you" - did not have any effect on them.
I guess they know, what I would try to do, if they left me alone.
And the phone calls all the time, from a distance - but I could hear them....
I know the psychiatric hospital was mentioned, and they wanted me to put in the closed center. I was panicking totally, I don't remember who I called, or what I wrote on sms, skype or whatever - to get people to "come save me" or anything.
Apparently the closed center at the hospital had too many patients, which saved me - until they wanted me to go to another hospital. But I think that was the day after, that solution came up - I think my mom spend the night here, and my dad perhaps had the children.
That was my personal doctor who had arranged the Hospital stuff, and then I personally got my doc on the phone too - and she told me about the center and wanted to try to see, if they had room to take me. That was however another kind of center, and mom and my friend was talking a lot about that, and they didn't think it was the right place to put me.
What they apparently wanted, was to get me under 24 hour surveillance, so I couldn't do "something."
I think they were ready to take me in the other hospital the day after, but I didn't want to go, and my friend and mom didn't really think it was the right place for me. But again, it was not my arrangements, I didn't talk much with the doctors myself, it was mom and friend. I cant remember which day this was either. But it went on for several days the talking backwards and forward with the doctors.
I was also down at the doctors at some point - or I got some medication I think from the doctor... I cant remember.
Everything from that week is a total mess in my mind.
When I got the shock of being left from my love... And that on top on every thing else that had happened in 2010....
I remember calling my mom and dad, to tell them, that I wanted them to take the children and take care of them. They came and picked up the children, and saw, that I was in a horrible psychologically state.
My friend and neighbor was also there. I had called her to come over, until my parents got to me - to be sure, that the children was taken care of.
I was shaking all over my body, and throwing up. I remember the feeling, that I just wanted to get the kids out of the house - everybody out of the house - so I could do what I wanted to do...
My mom gave me some pills, that relaxes the body, and then I think I fell asleep.
During the first days, I remember my neighbor coming to me several times, but nothing specific about it.
At some point, my mom called me and told me, that she and my dad was on their way to me, and she wanted me to be committed to the psychiatric hospital. My neighbor friend was also there.
I don't know, if it was my friend, who had called my parents, because she noticed, that I was bleeding from cutting myself... I don't know, how everything is connected.
When my parents arrived, they were talking a lot on the phone with the doctors center. I remember vaguely the noise of people on phone, and that it was annoying me, and the feeling of being scared out of my sences.
It annoyed me to have people around me, I just wanted to be left alone.
I was puking all the time, but nothing came out - but the feeling of throwing up made me feel better somehow.
The constant vomiting however, was one of the things, that made my friend ad parents nervous. And my "just leave me alone please, I beg you" - did not have any effect on them.
I guess they know, what I would try to do, if they left me alone.
And the phone calls all the time, from a distance - but I could hear them....
I know the psychiatric hospital was mentioned, and they wanted me to put in the closed center. I was panicking totally, I don't remember who I called, or what I wrote on sms, skype or whatever - to get people to "come save me" or anything.
Apparently the closed center at the hospital had too many patients, which saved me - until they wanted me to go to another hospital. But I think that was the day after, that solution came up - I think my mom spend the night here, and my dad perhaps had the children.
That was my personal doctor who had arranged the Hospital stuff, and then I personally got my doc on the phone too - and she told me about the center and wanted to try to see, if they had room to take me. That was however another kind of center, and mom and my friend was talking a lot about that, and they didn't think it was the right place to put me.
What they apparently wanted, was to get me under 24 hour surveillance, so I couldn't do "something."
I think they were ready to take me in the other hospital the day after, but I didn't want to go, and my friend and mom didn't really think it was the right place for me. But again, it was not my arrangements, I didn't talk much with the doctors myself, it was mom and friend. I cant remember which day this was either. But it went on for several days the talking backwards and forward with the doctors.
I was also down at the doctors at some point - or I got some medication I think from the doctor... I cant remember.
Everything from that week is a total mess in my mind.
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