No matter how hard I struggle, I simply couldn't get up long time enough to get a properly grasp of the edge.
We had a meeting with a real estate agent a week ago, and he started talking. At one point, the agent asked me a question, and when I looked at him, I realized; I didn't understand, what he was saying!
I could hear him talking, but the words didn't make sense.
The panic attack probably came very naturally right there. My anxiety attacks are more frequent and feels worse, than usual. Last night it was from around 19 to 03. I felt the urge to run into the field and just scream, until I exhausted myself. I felt the desire to smashing something with a sledgehammer (it's unfamiliar territory for me to be so aggressive!)
I guess after working like a maniac for weeks powered by enthusiasm, the balloon suddenly stopped raising, punctured and felt the power of gravity. Like Newton said:
I have a hard time getting up and out of bed these days. There's no desire.
I try to say to myself that I have all the options.
What do I feel like doing?
I have no idea!!!
I do not know what I want to do!
Some days I think, the only way I can get out of bed is to turn liquid and start dripping on the floor.
Photo from:
pexels
Photographer:
Andrea Piacquadio
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